Have you been feeling an overwhelming sense of loneliness lately?
If so, loneliness is a very complex mental and emotional phenomenon that has plagued every human being at one time or another.
But oftentimes, when we are suffering from it (at an overwhelming rate), it’s only then when we can actually cure loneliness (at its very core) so we can stop that feeling and overcome those loneliness symptoms that we feel sometimes all too often.
And since everyone has suffered at the hand of feeling lonely, it’s only honest to say, that it’s an inevitable feeling that most people will eventually feel.
So how do we overcome feelings of deep sorrow and loneliness?
Today this post will go over 17 unique ways to overcome/perceive your loneliness.
After you finish reading, you can then implement one or a few of these tips and see how you feel because it’ll feel so nice to know that ‘feeling lonely’ really is just something that can be fixed!
1. Loneliness (at its core) is just a feeling — take action to counteract that feeling.
While many people have great social skills and acquaintances, they still often feel lonely.
Feeling lonely could be the end result even though they could have hundreds or thousands of “friends” on social networking platforms and even a few solid friends where they can even share a film or get a cup of coffee on a whim with.
That being said, the first thing to know about loneliness, is that loneliness is a feeling, that’s it!
The feeling is simply mirroring your thoughts in your mind and creating ‘feelings’ about them.
So if it’s your perception that’s creating those lonely feeling’s within you and if it’s merely how you are perceiving that reality (that is making you feel those thoughts of loneliness) — your life can easily change.
You can start by changing what you do and how you feel about what you do — by taking ACTION!
So let’s discover how you can actively move out of those ‘lonely feelings’ for good.
Tips to help you actively change your loneliness around:
- There are many ways to help you cope with loneliness. You can spend more time with those who really love you. Often times we have people in our lives that really love us, but work and obligations can get in the way. So if you are feeling lonely, now is really the best time to spend more time with those you care about and those who have your best interest at heart.
- Spend time with your community by volunteering and helping out. Spending time serving others by being the ‘giver’ and not the receiver is actually benefiting you more than you think. Simply put, the more we give, the happier we feel. Volunteering increases self-confidence and that self-confidence could be all you need to banish those lonely feelings for good.
- Find a support group or a group of like-minded people who all have the same goal in mind. Groups like fitness, health & food, artistic hobbies will help you be creative with other people and give you the opportunity to make new friends.
- Be more open to kindness from others. Often times when we are feeling lonely and down, our perception can overlook the simple gestures and kindness that are all around us. For those moments that you do recognize the kindness from others, truly be thankful for it, and show appreciation so you can put those thankful thoughts out into the world to receive even more kindness from others.
2. Loneliness can also help you acknowledge the root cause from within so you can release it and finally be free from what’s holding you back.
When it comes to feeling lonely, sometimes those lonely feelings are still lingering around because the root of a trauma or an experience (that occurred in the past) wasn’t fully accepted or acknowledged.
So the second way to feel less lonely is to acknowledge the root cause from within so you can release it and finally be free from what’s holding you back.
And in order to make any change occur, you first have to be aware of it.
If you are not acknowledging how you feel, then how do suppose change will happen?
That means you have to acknowledge the ‘lonely feelings’ that exist within you and take time to look within.
Write out what you think these lonely thoughts could really be really pointing at and be ready to deal with anything head-on no matter what circumstance you find yourself in.
In a world full of people, there are so many who feel lonely, so when you are feeling lonely it is the best time to look within so you can see what is truly holding you back.
Most often, what is holding you back is the root cause, and where that change and release need to take place.
So let’s discover how these feelings could be penetrating your soul at such a deep level.
Here are some root causes of Loneliness:
- You could be experiencing genuine social phobia: Social phobia is not shyness. Shy people normally find other shy people to hang out with or are glad to be a quieter community member. People with social phobia, on the other hand, have an unfounded perception/belief that they are being judged and judged negatively while they are with others.
- You could be experiencing depression: Perhaps you are genuinely depressed and that making an appointment at your mental health center would be a good idea, to helping you solve the root of your loneliness.
- Your temperament could be extremely sensitive: The temperament of some people can be much more sensitive than others. They are easily moved by the beauty and easily affected by human kindness and they are just as easily hurt and confused when someone is thoughtless or disrespectful or is not able to give them enough time. If that’s you, try to seek ways to include compassion for your sensitivity. And you may be being too hard on yourself.
- You may need to understand your thinking style: If your thinking style is severely negative, and your negative thinking patterns include jumping to conclusions, catastrophizing, and overgeneralization, then actively working to change your thinking could help solve the root of your loneliness. But remember that changing your thinking takes time, it’s just like building a muscle.
Here are some benefits of solving the root cause of loneliness:
- Solving the root tackles the problem head-on and can change a situation around instantly.
- Your confidence will be boosted because the weight of the burden has been lifted and your thoughts of shame have been healed that surround your loneliness.
- You will have less anxiety around the feelings that associate with feeling lonely because you are aware of what they truly mean.
- You will be able to enjoy life’s simple pleasures a lot more and feel less alone (which is the best thing!).
- You’ll feel more secure in yourself and your environment.
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3. You can also learn a unique coping technique, like treating your loneliness like hunger.
Now for those moments when you are feeling really lonely and you are looking for a great coping technique that you can instantly do no matter where you are?
You can treat it just like you do when you are hungry. And when you are feeling really hungry what do you do? You eat, hopefully!
So this next tip is going to try to make you look at your loneliness the same way.
When it comes to the body and mind, they are always communicating with one another, and oftentimes when we are feeling extreme loneliness, it could be a signal (from both the body and mind) that it needs some social interaction, love, or connection.
That means that the next time you are feeling lonely, try reaching out and connecting with someone –anyone!
Send a text, make a phone call, do anything to make yourself feel satisfied at that very moment (just like eating), and see how you feel just after.
If you have connections, use them (especially in those lonely moments) and if you don’t have any connections, write how you feel anonymously on Quora or YouTube.
Once you do, you should feel full and satisfied because feeling heard and recognized as a human being is something that everyone needs.
4. Loneliness could make you more aware that you could be self-deflecting to not feel vulnerable.
Are you one of those people that’s really great at pretending that everything is fine all-of-the-time?
If so, there are so many people that do this without even realizing it, and in doing so, deflecting the focus off of you and onto them, doesn’t make connection easy.
Going a bit further, here’s the definition of deflection; to keep (something, such as a question) from affecting or being directed at a person or thing.
When you deflect you are not equally sharing or partaking in a conversation, and in doing so, this makes for true connection with others more complex and hard to happen.
So if you self-deflect while interacting with others, the people in your life will eventually catch on and realize that you are too scared of connecting with them and they will eventually pull away as a result.
Don’t deflect and start getting more vulnerable with others in a positive way, of course, when you feel it’s safe to do so.
5. Feeling lonely will teach you that changing yourself to ‘fit in‘ will never work.
Since there are over 16 different personality types on this planet, you have to hear this if you really want everyone to like you because…
Not everyone is going to like you!
It’s sad but it’s true. But know that trying to change yourself to fit in, will ultimately just compound the feelings of loneliness even more.
Not being yourself and molding yourself to a certain way of living, breathing, and being is the exact opposite of what your loneliness feelings are trying to teach you.
In fact, if you have to change to not be alone, then loneliness is a great thing to have in your life right now!
It’s better to be alone and wait to find your tribe than hang out with people that you already don’t feel comfortable being yourself with.
6. If you stop being a people pleaser you also could stop feeling lonely.
Molding yourself for others to perceive us a certain way, is what the last tip on fitting in was all about.
Now taking it one step further, people-pleasing is another way that could be compounding your lonely feelings as a result.
When you are being inauthentic to yourself for the sole purpose to please others, you are subconsciously thinking (without even realizing it) that you are beneath them.
Here’s the thing, loneliness loves those kinds of thoughts and feelings because it’s finding more reasons to feel even lonelier.
So don’t let that belief (that you are less than other people) in.
You are beneath no one!
By pleasing others above your needs, you are actively telling yourself that you deserve less in life.
In doing so, that harbors a great plethora of feelings that result in, you guessed it, feeling really lonely. And being aware of this can help you change it!
7. The universe could also be speaking to you through your loneliness.
If you are feeling alone right now (in this very moment), know that that’s just also the world and the universe signaling to you that something profound needs to change.
You are doing something in your life that you shouldn’t be involved with or you are being given an opportunity to look within (discovering the root in tip #2) to take whatever information you find and feel in order to change it.
So if you have a hunch of what that signal is (because you most likely do), then right now is the best time to take the necessary steps to improve upon it.
Let something go if you have too and embrace it with grace. We have a whole universe within us and that universe speaks to us by how we feel.
Listen and pay close attention, it most usually has something really profound to tell you!
8. When you feel lonely you may not be deprived of any human interaction at all.
According to Neel Burton M.D of psychologytoday.com, sometimes your feeling of loneliness doesn’t often even mean that you need to surround yourself with others.
A lot of people feel that they are deprived of human connection (at times when they are feeling lonely) but it could really stem from having a lack of a shared purpose with others.
A shared purpose or shared vision is what you and the other members in your life want to create or accomplish as a whole. And a shared purpose or a common interest really does build a great foundation for a friendship to bloom and grow from.
Jacqueline Olds, Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard University told The Lonely Society if you join a group that has a shared purpose, you will eventually make a friend of it.
On the other hand, if you have lost your purpose or vision in life, this could be another reason why you are feeling lonely.
It could also mean that you may have grown out of your job or the place you are living in, you could have even outgrown your circle of friends if your shared purpose has changed or vise versa. Or you simply may not be flexing the skills and talents that you have been gifted with.
If this resonates with you, close the door on things and people that aren’t serving your higher purpose in life.
You can always change things around and it’s never too late to start over!
9. The alternative to feeling lonely can actually bring you joy if you seek joy and happiness more often.
Don’t think that you are limited to your circumstances and that you’ll never feel happy when you are feeling lonely because the power of loneliness really can give you the perspective you need to turn just about anything around.
But in order to do that, you first must uncover what is stealing your joy. Then with that knowledge, seek joy and happiness by doing small things that will make you feel great on a daily basis.
And even though a joyful moment on its own may not lead to long-lasting happiness –patterns of it certainly can.
Positive emotions will help you feel open-minded, which ultimately will help you think more creatively and productively.
So if you already know what needs to change and what puts a smile on your face, then try implementing that immediately by searching for instant alternatives that’ll make you feel happy and that’ll bring you more joy in life.
Allow for change, call for change and you’ll be surprised when it appears for you just when you need it most.
Furthermore, if you haven’t got a clue on what to change, you’ll recognize it if you dread going, seeing, and doing anything in your life right now.
10. Finding out what are you most afraid of is a sure way to combat feeling lonely quickly.
Oftentimes what makes us feel insecure and really lonely is what we are most fearful of!
And taking that a little bit further, it could even result in being afraid to — be alone!
Developing the capacity to be alone well (enjoying your own personal company) and having a greater tolerance with your experience — the emotional, cognitive, visceral, imaginative, and sensory moment-to-moment arisings that constitute your present moment.
You will find that your loneliness could in fact, just be fear and worry. Or in other situations, it could be fear of other things that bring you out of the present moment.
Either way, finding out what are you most afraid of is a sure way to combat feeling lonely.
So are you fearful of being alone? Are you fearful of being judged? Are you staying paralyzed with those thoughts of loneliness because you’ve never tried anything new?
You’ll never know unless you try and maybe you’re really just yearning to get out there and pursue what you are meant to pursue in life — without fear of being alone or without fear of the illusion of fear itself.
11. Making eye contact more often is another small way to feel connected.
Happily, there are some simple things, to start, that may help us all leverage a little loneliness — make eye contact.
Studies show that even a small window of eye contact can make you feel less alone. That even making intentional eye contact (even with a stranger) is a warm gesture that has the power to make both parties feel just a little bit closer to one another.
Try testing it out and see if this uplifts your spirits a little.
12. Your loneliness has the power to remind you that ‘you are enough’.
The underlying reason why all humans need to feel connected to one another is that the opposite of feeling connected to our society and/or to others can make us feel SO removed.
By default, it can give us the belief that ‘we are not enough’.
Since loneliness is actually a form of punishment used by packs in the wild (and believe it or not in some societies), we can take that the wrong way as self-punishment towards ourselves.
When we take on those feelings of punishment, we also take on the belief that we are not enough. When in actuality, we really shouldn’t be thinking that way at all.
Learn to flip the script and constantly remind yourself that ‘you are enough’ on a daily basis. Your whole perspective can shift in a moment when you remind yourself that you are enough.
13. Loneliness can teach you that quality supersedes everything!
If you find that your number of friends is dwindling (especially as you get older), then it’s time to start seeking new friendships that are of good quality.
Because at the end of the day, it’s NOT about the number of friends or how many connections you have, but more importantly, that you have the right friends that have your back when you need it most.
That means letting go of what you previously thought was a ‘good friend’ and start accepting different people in your world without judgment — quality will always supersede quantity in almost every interpersonal relationship you have.
14. Don’t be so guarded & let your walls down.
You may not aware of it, but you may have certain walls up that signals that you don’t trust people. And in doing so, you may not be giving enough information that allows you to feel vulnerable with others.
Let’s face it, even if you’re an excellent listener or a great shoulder to cry on, it’s still not the same if it’s hard for people to really connect with you.
Try letting your walls down. You can do this by opening up more, being relaxed and more vulnerable, and being yourself when you feel it’s safe to do so.
15. Loneliness can remind you to have a healthy give/take balance with people.
If you happen to be an introvert or are a very private person and the last thing you want to do is post about your life online?
Know that you’re in control of what you say, how much information you give, and who you want to give it to. But saying nothing is a form of isolation that could be compounding your lonely feelings.
Your personality shouldn’t dictate how you feel and only you can dictate who you want to share your life with and who you don’t.
So, if you are uneasy about who to trust or happen to be nonexistent online?
You can still be private but it’s recommended that you take baby steps in opening yourself up more. You can do that by commenting and staying connected with a select few.
And even though everyone you meet will not be trustworthy or even worth it, just taking small purposeful steps on your end to be seen and heard, will eventually help you find your tribe and stay connected.
16. Know that everyone feels lonely at some point.
Know that there is absolutely not a thing wrong with you or with your situation if you are feeling lonely more than most people you know.
If you don’t gel with certain others or even feel outcasted or ostracized — that is totally okay for now.
As long as you are working towards changing by looking within and doing the inner work that needs to be done to change your mindset, those feelings will soon fade away.
17. Maybe it’s time to seek clinical assistance.
Lastly, meeting with a specialist in mental health is one of the most helpful steps you can take to resolve depression and the underlying problems that can contribute to feeling lonely.
A therapist will help you to analyze the reasons behind your sensations and some other problems related to your isolation may also be discussed.
For instance, you may feel loneliness and sadness if you have lost a family member or close friend recently. A seasoned specialist will make a difference for you during the healing process.
Isn’t it nice to know that loneliness can be turned around?
Start meeting new people, start trying new things (as often as you can), make sure that the people you are hanging out with all have a shared purpose or the same values, and know that you are enough!
You’ve always been enough and if you seek change, change will find you!
Check out, 8 Excuses Standing In The Way Of Your Dreams (& How To Fix It!), next!
Hi, my name is Rebecca and I am the face behind Everything Abode! I am a lifestyle and wellness writer based out of Vancouver Island. When I’m not writing or exploring mountains and beaches with my furry rescue, I love spending time learning creative ways to manifest a healthy home. Thanks for stopping by!
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