Toxic people. We all have them!
And there’s no simple way of explaining how they can be extremely detrimental to our mind, our life, and our overall sense of self.
Plus, when it comes to living our day-to-day lives, most often, it can be really difficult to avoid toxic individuals.
Sometimes they look like something else, sometimes they are inextricably connected to our working or family life, and sometimes the only way we can spot them is by examining how we truly feel.
Since they are hard to spot, you could find yourself dealing with a poisonous friend and not know how to handle them, you could find that you are dealing with a toxic family member whom you have to just deal with, or it could be peers of friends at any given time — consciously or unconsciously that are adding toxicity to your life.
And when it comes to the negative effects they have on your life, toxic people all have one thing in common — they can easily sabotage your joy and your expansion to living your best life possible.
So if you would love to learn how to shake that toxic individual off of your back and not let them bother you as much as they already are?!
Here are some telltale signs to look out for when it comes to dealing with toxic people and 9 ways you can remove them from your life, so you can keep moving forward creating the best life possible for yourself!
First, here are three things you need to know!
The only way to rid yourself of toxic people who are currently in your life (right now) is to first recognize that you have the power over your state of mind and wellbeing.
That you have the power to decide who plays a role in your life or not.
Once you have a good idea of who you believe to be toxic to your wellbeing (taking precautionary measures, of course, because you could be wrong), the next thing you should do is establish a safe distance and space from them.
That way you have space and time to figure out your next move.
The whole goal of cutting a toxic individual out of your life is to prevent yourself from being sucked down by the mere association with them, and establishing a safe distance from them will give you the time you need to process the situation.
Toxicity is relative to each individual.
Before you make any sort of concrete decisions on cutting out a toxic person from your life, the next thing to be extremely aware of is that toxicity is relative to each individual.
You have to decide when someone needs to be removed from your life and why and not the other way around.
Toxicity differ’s from case to case and from person to person, and only you can truly know who’s really toxic in your life by how you feel when you are around them or interacting with them.
Plus, sometimes toxic people are there to teach you about yourself and sometimes they are there to bring you down on purpose, so the third thing to know is to be aware of some classic signs that these toxic folks all usually fall under…
How to Know Who’s Truly Toxic, with a few classic signs:
- Toxic people will try to control you. People who are not in the authority of their own lives generally tend to want to handle yours. The toxic way these people try to do this is by using subtle deceit and manipulation. That deceit and manipulation can be used on you or used with the people that are in your life, to change how they perceive you.
- Toxic individuals take without offering anything in return. They’re often there to take how much they can get, as long as you are willing to give it. Nothing seems to be of value that they give you and you notice this by every interaction with them.
- Toxic people aren’t truthful — they are Dishonest and practice deceit. What we’re really talking about here is that most toxic people will repeatedly be dishonest with you and to others. Sometimes they may not even be aware of it but if you have that inkling feeling that they are being dishonest and disloyal, follow your instincts — chances are your instincts are right.
- They offer only self-absorption or self-centeredness.
- They have an art with manipulation and other emotional abuse.
- Toxic people have difficulty offering compassion to others.
- They have a tendency to create drama or conflict.
Now that you know these guidelines and telltale signs of a toxic individual and before you make any serious moves in your own life?
When it’s finally time to say farewell, take a look at these 9 simple ways to help make the transition of releasing a toxic person from your life a lot more smoothly!
Want to learn how to set a true intention?! Check out How to Set Intentions in 10 Easy Steps
1. Remove yourself from that person for a good length of time to regain your self-esteem.
Nothing sets the stage better for intense personal growth like coming out of a negative relationship.
And since there’s nothing worse than being surrounded by people who shame you, embarrass you or that bring you down ‘just because’?
Now is the perfect time to decide who is officially toxic in your life and who you need to remove for good.
And the best possible starting point is to remove yourself from that person for a healthy length of time to process the situation and to clear your thinking.
That means to create time solely for you right now. Drop your plans that you have with them, don’t do fake rain checks with them, and start moving energetically away from them so you can have the time to really think about what your next move will be.
Doing this will also give you the time you need to be away from any manipulation that they have over you or others.
And it doesn’t matter if you were attached as intimate lovers or just friends, making the decision to distance yourself from that relationship for the sole purpose to clear your thoughts is extremely important for your self-esteem.
If you start guarding your time by putting yourself first and always first, you’ll have your first boundary set in place to finally ditching that toxic individual for good.
2. Avoid playing into their reality.
In most cases, when it comes to dealing with toxic people, you can feel tempted to just nod and smile to avoid a furious outburst from them.
And it may seem like the best and safest choice, but doing so also inspires and encourages them to behave that way with you even more.
When it comes down to it, you can come off as an encourager that supports them if you choose to play into their reality.
Try to avoid giving them this attention especially if it’s impacting your life in a negative way.
3. Pay close attention to how they make you feel.
Of course, just understanding how somebody’s toxic behavior affects you will help you navigate better around them and occasionally, most people say rude or hurtful things they don’t mean.
Nobody feels their best all the time and this is not always toxic.
So if you’re wondering whether their put-downs, lies, or other forms of verbal and emotional abuse are toxic or describe much of your experiences?
A telltale sign comes down to how you feel when you are around them a majority of the time.
Are you consistently apologizing to them? Do they apologize to you? Do they notice how and what they say or do affects you?
When looking at the impact a toxic person has on somebody else’s mental health, their personal struggles shouldn’t justify abuse, and neither should you tolerate it.
4. Talk to them directly but only if you really have to.
Right now, you’ve probably come to the consensus that this toxic individual isn’t right for you.
You’ve probably distanced yourself and you know deep down in your heart that this toxic individual isn’t something you need in your life.
So the next time you are going to have to interact with them — do it directly.
We all know that sticking to our boundaries is key to establishing good limits with a toxic person. So making sure that you are communicating with them directly is all the better.
Continue to practice your good boundaries by limiting your interactions with them (as often as you can), and be responsible for your behavior when you do decide to communicate with them.
If you happen to make a mistake, say the wrong thing, or discover that you are “losing it” by saying something incorrectly?
At least they are standing right in front of you so they can’t try to twist your words or talk you out of following your gut.
5. When you do talk to them directly, make sure that you talk To Them In a Public setting or have witnesses.
Being belligerent or even violent is not unheard of for toxic individuals. They are known to be strong reactors and most usually like to have things go their way.
That’s why having a public conversation with them (when you are officially cutting ties), can be a really great idea if you happen to feel really nervous about how they’ll react.
Also, talking in a public setting can diminish the likelihood of something really uncomfortable from occurring.
You can honestly just get up and leave if you run into any issues or if it really gets that bad, then you have your answer and it’s time to official cut them out.
6. Block Them On Social Media.
Now, when it comes to having a toxic relationship and that toxic person doesn’t want to let you go?
Don’t be ashamed if you resort to blocking them.
There is no judgment while going through the purging process of a toxic individual, especially if you need to free up your online space from them as well.
Who wants to see notifications and pictures of the person that they’re trying to avoid? Most likely no one. So again, when trying to transition from having them in your life to cutting them out, don’t de ashamed if you have to block them.
7. Don’t Bring Them Up in conversations or Talk About them to other people.
Now if you really want to disassociate yourself from the toxic person, whom you have cut off, established a safe distance from and have no way of communicating with them anymore — this next part is on you!
You have to energetically NEVER bring them up in conversation or even talk about them ever again.
Yes, venting and releasing negative emotions about the situation largely at-hand can be therapeutic, but if it lasts too long, that toxic individual will be still adding toxicity to your life.
And chances are if you talk about the negative person in your life, they could very well have ‘flying monkeys’ (friends that tell them) — you don’t want that!
It’s also a good thing to point out that toxic people also have a certain sixth sense about them. That they really can sense that you are talking about them in some weird energetic way.
So try to do your best to avoid this while you are completely cutting them loose and try not to utter a single word about them.
8. Be extremely picky with who you choose to be vulnerable with.
This may sound way too harsh but being too sweet and transparent with a toxic person can be extremely harmful and detrimental to your mental health.
Most toxic individuals appear to benefit from any goodwill (especially good vulnerable feelings imposed on them) because that gives them the leverage they need to freely have power over you.
Toxic people thrive on generosity, honesty, and kindness. They enjoy vulnerability the most (more than most people) because it gives them a sense of power over you and again LEVERAGE.
Because if you let them in, they’ll lap it all up for a free ride just to use against you if they can.
Now with saying that, don’t give yourself a hard time if you were once vulnerable with a toxic person or if you confided in them when you weren’t aware that they would use your vulnerability against you.
Moving forward, you’ll most likely be extremely picky with who you choose to be vulnerable with. That’s apart of life and learning who to trust.
9. Know That When It’s Done — It’s Done!
Lastly, as it was highlighted in the telltale signs of a toxic individual, they have a tendency to create drama or conflict.
And if you let them, toxic individuals will keep coming back for more!
So to really make sure that that never happens, make sure you’re prepared to make it permanent.
When you do decide to say your final farewell — move on and don’t look back!
There you have it! Getting rid of toxic people is a mandatory step towards taking back control of your life.
It’s not going to be easy but it will set you on the right path to intentionally creating the life that you crave once you make the decision that it needs to be done.
Look forward to enjoying your life with the people that bring out the best in you and make each day count with the people that already have your back. You got this!
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Hi, my name is Rebecca and I am the face behind Everything Abode! I am a lifestyle and wellness writer based out of Vancouver Island. When I’m not writing or exploring mountains and beaches with my furry rescue, I love spending time learning creative ways to manifest a healthy home. Thanks for stopping by!