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How To Start A New Life From A ‘Negative’ Past

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Improve your future from a Negative Past _ Everything Abode

Leaving old ways behind can feel frightful…

And it’s because we are SO familiar with a certain way of living life, that change can be terrifying.

But, if you are currently feeling the PAIN from staying the same, then you know it’s time for a change!

In fact, if you are seeking to improve your future and overcome the fear of some of the required changes that you have to do, it will take time.

Change won’t happen immediately, but you can boost your reputation and life by taking responsibility for yourself and taking the necessary steps to improve your current circumstances.

And the only way you can create a new and better version of yourself is if you are willing to step out of your comfort zone and try some new ideas.

So again, if you are feeling pain from your current circumstances, know that you can start over. 

Here are 10 insightful ways to improve your future from having a negative past.

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10 Insightful ways to Improve your future from a negative past

How to Start a New Life with a Negative Past. Take it day by day. )

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1. Make the decision to change and set tangible goals to help you create a better future.

If you are seeking new ways to change your life around, now is the best time to set some tangible goals to help you create a better version of yourself.

It doesn’t matter what past circumstances you may have had, you can still change things around by making the decision to walk towards your future, and you can do that by setting realistic goals for yourself.

Write down your goals and get really clear and concise with what you want the outcome to be. Make sure your goals are realistic and measurable as well. You’ll be on the right path towards creating a new and better version of yourself in no time if you get clear on what you really want.

For tips to help you make tangible goals, try this:

    • Think about the results you want to see in your future and set some goals to achieve those goals. They can be small like waking up earlier all the way to thinking more positively. When you start making goals, big or small, you have just started the process for true change.
    • Create SMART goals. Another great idea is if you can make sure the goals you set for yourself are aligned with the five SMART criteria (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Bound), you have the advantage to base all of your decision-making (with that particular goal) much better.
    • Write your goals down. Goals allow us to make ourselves better versions of ourselves and writing down our goals ensures you can see them visually to influence how you behave when we see something inlined with your goal.
    • Take action. Taking action takes our specific goal from the theoretical to the realistic and it pushes us to consider how we can get what we truly want.

Similar: 10 Brilliant Ways to Master Self-Discipline 


2. Gather a loving support system and outline who you want to bring with you to your positive future.

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In life, influence is everything, especially when creating a new and better version for yourself because the influence from other people, will either have a direct positive impact on your life or a direct negative impact on your life.

And since you are seeking true change, now really is the best time to see which scale your life is falling back on.

Think of the people that really have your back, and that also has a good influence on you and your life, and draw up a support system of supporters that are still cheering you on. 

These good social connections that you have, will help you uplift your life and help you maintain that better positive self-image that you are going after.

And if you need help releasing some toxic friends, the next tip will help you do just that!

3. Avoid toxic people that are constantly bringing you down.

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Just like the previous step that explored why having a positive network and support team is beneficial towards obtaining a positive self-image.

The same goes for negative people and their direct influence on your life.

We all have them and you know who they are! So if you can start cutting ties now, you’ll be better equipped to reshaping your life.

And if you can’t cut the ties with that toxic person, or you have to be involved with a toxic person for work reasons or family, then the best way to have a new and improved you is to distance yourself from them. Avoid talking to them, socializing, and thinking about them too. 

Know that these negative influences will only pull you back (into your old habits or behaviors) and when you put energy into toxic and harmful people, they benefit from it and you don’t!

4. Change one small thing a day, have patience, and know it takes months to see any change.

We all know we can’t drastically change in an instant, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t change the little things that we do on a daily basis to lead up to great results.

So if your negative past spanned a long period of time, make sure that the goals you have set out for the new version of you (in step one), take your daily schedule into account.

Have patience and reflect on only what you have to get done for the day. Take notes on what you can change within your routine, and start from there.

It could be as small as what your morning mental chatter consists of when you first wake up, all the way to how you react when you’re put in a bad position. 

If you have patience and change just one small thing each day, you’ll start creating permanent change for yourself that’ll stick with you in the long run.


RELATED: How to Wake Up Early Without Feeling Depressed


5. Assume personal responsibility.

No matter who was responsible for the circumstances of your past now is the best time to take responsibility because this will not only help improve your present-day (in this very moment) but your future is depending on it.

In fact, a core aspect of a successful life is taking ownership and responsibility for your actions. It’s not only an empowering reminder of the role you play in your relationships but it also builds faith and trustworthiness with yourself and others.

And since we can’t control anything else but ourselves, assuming responsibility will help you create space to recreate the brand new you. 

6.  Seek therapy to tackle the root of the pain, If the pain from your past is still haunting you.

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Therapy is not only for those who face dramatic problems or mental health issues, in fact, therapists can also help just about anyone with just about anything. 

A good therapist will offer you a confidential, non-judgmental space to create a new and better version of yourself, and sometimes all you may need is a safe space to work out your problems so you can redefine your goals.

And if you are uncomfortable going to a therapist/counselor try discussing your fears with someone you wholeheartedly trust, that way you can understand your situation from an outsider’s perspective. 

7. Face your consequences and ride them out.

Starting a new life from a negative past takes courage, especially if you’ve had a rocky history.

So to turn your situation around quickly, try to accept any consequences that have been dealt to you (from your past) and then perform to the best of your abilities now that you are more self-aware about them.

Facing your consequences can be making small payments to pay off your debts or finally have enough courage to change your job.

In fact, facing your consequences is just another way to show the universe that you fully accept responsibility for your past actions and your NEW actions will quickly add up to a new and better version of you.  

8. Make amends with the people who are pivotal in helping you be the best version of yourself.

How to Start a New Life with a Negative Past. Make amends with family )

Perhaps you had a big fight with your sibling or you lost contact with an old friend? Well did you know that you’ll be more inclined to forgive yourself when making amends with them? 

In fact, this can make all the difference in our capacity to move forward in life because it’ll give us a fighting chance to let go of hurt feelings and better the relationships with the people who matter the most.

So, make amends, man up, and be brave. This will not only improve your current situation but it’ll also give you the peace of mind that you wholeheartedly deserve.  


Similar: 17 Reasons Why ‘Loneliness’ Can Be a Good Thing


9. Be compassionate with yourself with forgiveness.

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When it comes to recreating a new you, you have to know that the mistakes you made do not decrease your self-worth. You are not a bad person either and everyone makes mistakes.

So if you are reliving the trauma of the past you have to forgive yourself.

Of course, the feelings of shame and guilt can feel overwhelming and will pop up from time to time but if you actively forgive yourself with compassion, for the part that you played, you can no doubt move on to a humble new beginning.

10. Learn from your past and don’t look back.

Life is all about learning, it’ll never stop being that way until you take your very last breath. So facing the carnage of your past and understanding why things happened the way they did while thinking up new solutions to prevent your history from repeating itself, will help you learn and move on!

It’s never too late to change and your life is out there waiting for you to grab it.  So take the lessons you’ve learned and start looking forward now!


There you have it! There’s lots more to discuss with changing our behaviors around but these are just a few steps that will help improve your current circumstances.

Accept responsibility and actively make change happen. You are already on the right path if you are reading this and I wish you nothing but the best moving forward 🙂

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